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Those who come to me cannot be my disciples unless they love me more than they love father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and themselves as well.
Those who do not carry their own cross and come after me cannot be my disciples.

GNT … This demand is for supreme love to Christ: the words father, and mother, etc., are placed here as objects which may and often do interfere with this supreme love.

When our loved ones interfere with our walk with Jesus, they are to be hated, but not actively and personally, but generally.
This cannot, of course, mean that we should actively hate our loved ones or ourselves. What it means we must in our heart, hate the act of interference in following Jesus by our loved ones.

This hate is not only consistent with, but absolutely necessary to the very highest kind of love. It is that element in love which makes a man a wise and Christian friend, —not for time only but for eternity.