Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.
And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?
For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’
“Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?
If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace.
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
GNT … Those who come to me cannot be my disciples unless they love me more than they love father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and themselves as well.
Those who do not carry their own cross and come after me cannot be my disciples.
This demand is for supreme love to Christ: the words father, and mother, etc., are placed here as objects which may and often do interfere with this supreme love.
When our loved ones interfere with our walk with Jesus, they are to be hated, but not actively and personally, but generally.
This cannot, of course, mean that we should actively hate our loved ones or ourselves. What it means we must in our heart, hate the act of interference in following Jesus by our loved ones.
This hate is not only consistent with, but absolutely necessary to the very highest kind of love. It is that element in love which makes a man a wise and Christian friend, —not for time only but for eternity.